Mommy Diaries: Entry 3
Finding & Funding a Doula/Midwife
So surprise surprise doulas and midwives don’t just appear like fairy godmothers once you decide you want to do a natural or a home birth. Oh and they do come at a cost! Whatever decision you and your significant other decide: whether you all want a doula, or a midwife, both, or neither...I say make the decision ASAP. I only say this because you need time to research, do interviews, and financially prepare if you haven’t already.
Doula vs Midwife
The first and most important thing to know is the difference between a doula and a midwife. A doula is someone who is like a coach and provides support prior to and during labor. A midwife is a health professional trained to provide care both during pregnancy and postpartum and are medically trained to deliver babies.
Do Your Research
So this is the part that no one tells you about! The research part is A LOT of work I couldn’t put it into any better words. I wasn’t sure I wanted to do a homebirth at the beginning of my pregnancy so I started out going to an OBGYN and stayed so that I would have some type prenatal care until I was able to find my birthing team. I started with my insurance and while they gave me a long list of providers none of them did home births so I was back at square one. My OBGYN office was no help, mainly because they wanted me to have a c section rather than vaginal and definitely frowned upon the fact that I wanted to do home-birth(c sections cost 30k and literally take about 2hrs vs actual labor and we won’t get into all the meds they pump you with that then transfer to baby.... another entry for another day). I searched on Instagram and online and I felt like I was throwing a needle in a haystack. To be honest I had a breakdown like a serious emotional one because my pregnancy was moving along (I was at the end of the 2nd trimester if not 3rd) and I still hadn’t found my midwife. It’s also important to know that there are Midwives then there are Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM)and depending on your previous pregnancy, pregnancies, or health you may need a Certified Nurse Midwife. They are able to administer meds, write prescriptions, and deliver babies. So you’ll need to know your health history as well. I found out at the end of my search that I was one of the lucky ones that needed a CNM so I had to refine my search. My Sister’s Keeper although out of state was amazing at providing info. I found midwife.org, and in the process found Birthers United that was extremely helpful with providing midwifery info even though they were a doula practice (I ended up using them for my doula services). Depending on your birthing plan you can decide whether you want both or one. I had both and when labor time came I was grateful I chose that because (if we’re speaking sports lingo) I had a first string (my significant other aka my consort), a second string (my doula), and a third string for when it was GO time (my midwife and her assistant). Now that sounds like a lot of people especially during a pandemic however it allowed me to be completely present in the moment. I had regular home visits with my midwife (similar to OBGYN visits) and we had a virtual meeting with all 5 of us. We had group text going and open lines of communication so when the time came I didn’t have to do much talking (and you shouldn’t be able to if you’re in true active labor) everyone already knew how I wanted things to go and what I did not want. My consort also had the contact information for both my doula and midwife and was comfortable contacting them. I didn’t realize it this was important but down the line he was able to get messages and call them when I wasn’t able or didn’t have the strength to. You also want to make sure the practice services your area or the area where you plan to birth because you maybe wasting your time. Think about in advance what you want your birth plan to look like so you’ll be prepared and that means knowing what you want and being open to certain things in case things don’t go as planned.
Interview, Interview, Interview!
Although I was pretty much well into my 3rd trimester by the time I found my midwife I still took time to ask all my questions and interview each person I spoke to. Don’t go with the first place you call. Think about it as if your running a business and your looking for potential employees. Most importantly remember these persons will be handling the care of not only you, but your unborn as well. Take it seriously, ask all your questions, make sure they are certified and it’s verifiable. You want to vibe with the person(s) and feel comfortable being open after all they’re going to see you unclothed and most likely in your worst state. You have to make sure they are educated and in it for you and not just the money... trust me you’ll be able to tell the difference. Take as long as you need to make the decision that’s right for you.
Finance
I will not sugar coat anything here while these services are the best over going to an OBGYN they cost and may not be covered by your insurance. Doulas typically cost anywhere from $1500 and up and a Midwife could cost anywhere from $4000 and up and if there’s an assistant involved (typically a non negotiable) that’s an additional $1000. Also most practices want all fees to be paid by 36weeks and that makes sense because the baby could come at anytime after that. You want to make sure you take in to account those additional expense on top of what bills still need to be paid while you or both you and your significant other are out of work, and the fact that you may have to come out of pocket for them if insurance doesn’t cover. There are practices that take insurance, but you pay up front and they bill insurance later (all questions should be asked during the interview). You want to make sure you are prepare and also have a game plan set with your birthing team about payments and payment schedule... it’s never good when money issues are involved.
I found all of this out in a very short time frame and very close to my due date and while I found a really good team that was understanding, transparent, and stuck labor out with me and are still riding with me... I wish somebody would’ve told me about finding and financing before hand so you’re welcome.
